The job hunt has been really stressful for both Lori and i. We had been wanting to leave Arkansas pretty much since the moment we got there. We finally felt like we got released from there in the beginning of June. We had felt like the move from Pocahontas to Hartford was more about faith and trust in God than about the job.
Since we have moved here i have been working very hard to find a job. It has been very difficult and draining. The other day Lori and i were having a discussion about it and about how frustrated we are that so many doors seem to be closing with no real direction. It has been causing us to re-evaluate our goals and in part to question God's instructions/our ability to recognize His instruction. In other words just to doubt.
As part of the discussion i had told Lori a number of times that really "i just don't know what to do". Afterwards i just needed to go for a walk to clear my head. I have been walking down to the park, jogging around the park, and walking back trying to just talk to God in the mornings as a part of my devotions. So i went to clear my head and talk to God. As i was walking i was just talking to God telling Him how i feel and that "i just don't know what to do".
As i was walking i went past a house where a guy had been standing there looking at a log in his yard. It looked like a decent sized log but he had ropes tied around it and it looked like he was well on his way to getting it into his truck. I said "good afternoon" as i went by and just kept walking. I thought that maybe he could use some help. But then i figured "nah, if he needs help he'll ask for it". But the thought wouldn't go away. So i told myself that if he was still there when i came back through on my way back that i'd ask if he needed help (not that abnormal of an excuse on my part). I started to feel convicted and gave myself a hard time about it, so i turned around went back and asked him if he needed help...
What kind of response would you expect from a question like that? "Sure, i could use some help" "No thanks, i've got it" or something similar probably. Well, that's not the answer he gave. As soon as i asked, his immediate response was "I just don't know what to do" **SMACK** He said to me exactly what i had said to both Lori and God. The exact words! Needless to say, after some work we got that last log onto his truck with some effort and went on our ways.
I told Lori about it when i got home and apparently she had had a similar experience of God speaking and confirming to her in her time while i had been gone. I'd tell it, but that's her story. It never ceases to amaze me when God just does those little things to give us strength and support right when we need it. It's just His way of saying, "I'm here and I know what's going on. I haven't forgotten about or abandoned you."
Thursday, July 27, 2006
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