Security, Significance, and the Nature of Man

I'm a big fan of C.S.Lewis' writing, and this year i started reading The Business of Heaven. It's a one year devotional based on Lewis' writing. I started it late and don't always remember to read it every day, so i'm only just finished Jan 21-22 today (Jan 30), but i have been getting quite a bit out of it.

Early on (Jan 3&4 i believe) there is an emphasis on understanding that rest and peace should not be our goal in life. It should not be what we are pursuing with purpose. When we are surrounded by safety (rest and peace) we become complacent. Our intent becomes security for the sake of security. In reality it is only in struggle that we mature and grow. In my counseling studies and experience i have come to the point where i greatly agree that overall (as a stereotype) that men have an overwhelming need for significance, and women have an overwhelming need for security. (I have also been looking at this in a series i have been preaching on relationships with my youth What Girls Need to Understand About Guys and What Guys Need to Understand About Girls)

As i was reading this it struck me that what Lewis is talking about here is security. It is the very thing that women (stereotypically) are looking for as one of their very base needs. So it is an underlying need that when fully achieved is unhealthy, in part destructive, and should not be a constant. Being a person of (/seeking) balance i know that what is good for the gander is good for the goose. So i started thinking about how if security, being a need common to women, is unhealthy when achieved as an end, then so must significance. Men strive for significance (stereotypically). We seek to be known and to achieve something important. It is an universal need. Yet if security, in itself, is unhealthy than significance is as well. So i started processing. What does significance lead to when fully achieved that could be destructive and harmful? The answer is obvious, pride and laziness (/gluttony? [in a more generic term]).

If security achieved tends to result in complacency (and self-elevation) and significance achieved leads to pride and laziness/gluttony (I'm still not satisfied that laziness and/or gluttony (generic) are the best terms), then aren't the desires themselves unhealthy? Should we not be seeking to fulfill them? No, i don't think that these are unhealthy desires in themselves. Seeking them is not bad in and of itself. It is these desires that lead to so many other great things. In truth, the desire itself is very good. These desires have resulted in most of the greatest achievements in the history of mankind. So the results are not necessarily unhealthy or bad, but in truth i believe that the achievement (/fulfillment) of these desires themselves (in this world) to be very dangerous (not in a good way).

So in truth, seeking security and significance can be good, while achieving it can be very bad.

Image from Orin Optiglot used under cc license.

A Dream: The Problem of Pride

I had a kind of strange dream this morning. I dreamed that i had a group of Jr. Highers at a lock in at a mall. We came to the mall and the youth were having a blast running around, eating, playing games, etc. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning and i had thought that the doors were locked. While i was standing there some older youth (mainly Sr. Highers) that i didn't know came to the door and were trying to get in. They looked like they could easily create some major problems.

They were forcing their way into the mall. I tried to confront them and kick them out, but they were clearly not interested in taking "no" for an answer. I was heatedly yelling at them to go away and that they didn't belong there. They asked me who i was and what right i had to tell them they couldn't be there. So i stuck my chest out and arrogantly told them that i was the youth pastor, and that this was "MY" Jr. High youth group. During this the older kids gave one last attempt to get in, then took off.

In the mean time the youngest of their group snuck through. As soon as he got in the doors he ran over to the sound system and started messing with the buttons and dials, obviously trying to distract me enough for his friends to get in. I finally had to grab him by the ear and just about drag him out of the building. His friends had already gone, but i threw him out and yelled at him to get out and stay out.

That is right about when i woke up very shaken up. I was so ashamed of myself. There were these young people who were out in the middle of the night looking for something to do. I had the opportunity to reach out to them, instead i arrogantly drove them off. I was so afraid of them messing up my perfect little evening youth group activity... challenging my authority... making me look bad. Instead of reaching out to them, even the youngest one who actually would have belonged there, i drove them away.

Needless to say, it was humbling seeing how easy it is for my pride to get in the way of who i am and what i am passionate about.

Image from Ferran used under cc license.

Focused Time

This past week as part of the prayer week i have been taking some time away from recreational activities at home at the beginning of the day. This includes things like video games and getting online. Instead i have been spending more time in the word, praying, and spending more focused time with family.

I find that whenever i do things like this, it always helps me in my relationship with God and my family. I'm not as distracted by unnecessary crap and tend to be able to focus more on God, family, and resolving my own issues.

In spite of that, so often after these types of fasting times, i always seem to (eventually) go back to my old habits. Then when a time of fasting comes again i dread its coming. It takes a while to really get into it, and i am so resistant to it.

As i have been writing and processing this i have come to two separate conclusions:
1) I see it as a time of fasting. It is something that i see as a limited time thing. I look to the conclusion and don't expect it to be something that lasts. When the time is over and i have an urge to get back into my old habits, there is nothing stopping me. Whereas if my focus instead is, this is what i am going to do, and i will not be returning to my old way of doing things it becomes an issue of a changing a habit / lifestyle instead of a temporary thing. As a result the resolve is to continue.
2) My other thought was that this is a battle of the flesh. I John 2:15-17 says, "Do not love the world nor the things in the world If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever." The battle is a desire of the flesh (having "fun" instead of being responsible) that wars for dominance in my life. I go back to these things because they are fun and a distraction instead of being something that takes effort and doesn't lead to more immediate gratification.

So now the issue is, where do i go from here. The time of prayer & fasting is at a close, but should this change in actions end?

Image from Old Shoe Woman used under cc license.