Hope Springs Eternal

I handled a face to face confrontation very poorly. Instead of my giving logical and appropriate responses to what was said, much of it was unclear and emotion driven. Some of what was said to me took me so completely off guard that i couldn't even come close to expressing or explaining what was what because i just couldn't process the issues at all. Afterwards, there were a ton of issues that i knew i had totally destroyed, points (as in key issues not winning scores) that were lost, and important factors completely overlooked on both sides. (THAT is why i prefer the written word with time to process over face to face every time.) Overall, the most clear, honest, and properly formed response i was able to give was an apology, and a prayer under my breath that we both walked away with more learned than lost.


Image from ~Dawn~ used under cc license.

A Dream: The Problem of Pride

I had a kind of strange dream this morning. I dreamed that i had a group of Jr. Highers at a lock in at a mall. We came to the mall and the youth were having a blast running around, eating, playing games, etc. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning and i had thought that the doors were locked. While i was standing there some older youth (mainly Sr. Highers) that i didn't know came to the door and were trying to get in. They looked like they could easily create some major problems.

They were forcing their way into the mall. I tried to confront them and kick them out, but they were clearly not interested in taking "no" for an answer. I was heatedly yelling at them to go away and that they didn't belong there. They asked me who i was and what right i had to tell them they couldn't be there. So i stuck my chest out and arrogantly told them that i was the youth pastor, and that this was "MY" Jr. High youth group. During this the older kids gave one last attempt to get in, then took off.

In the mean time the youngest of their group snuck through. As soon as he got in the doors he ran over to the sound system and started messing with the buttons and dials, obviously trying to distract me enough for his friends to get in. I finally had to grab him by the ear and just about drag him out of the building. His friends had already gone, but i threw him out and yelled at him to get out and stay out.

That is right about when i woke up very shaken up. I was so ashamed of myself. There were these young people who were out in the middle of the night looking for something to do. I had the opportunity to reach out to them, instead i arrogantly drove them off. I was so afraid of them messing up my perfect little evening youth group activity... challenging my authority... making me look bad. Instead of reaching out to them, even the youngest one who actually would have belonged there, i drove them away.

Needless to say, it was humbling seeing how easy it is for my pride to get in the way of who i am and what i am passionate about.

Image from Ferran used under cc license.

What do We do When it All Falls Apart?

Our lives are filled with so much frustration and difficulty sometimes. Most of the time it is of our making, but not always. The question becomes, what do we do with them? When our world starts to fall apart, what do we do? How do we handle it?

The job that i currently have to pay the bills is one dealing with people. It is a job in which i talk to random people, help them with their problems, and bring them to a solution that hopefully involves the inclusion of some of our products. I talked to a gentleman yesterday who wanted one of our products to help him remain in touch with a family member in a correctional facility. When he was brought over to me he was in high spirits. He was ready to tell the world that i and the last person that he talked to were the best things since baked cake. I spent a little bit of time talking to him about his situation in order to find the best solution. I got things cleared up as much as i could on our end and began to tell him what he needed to do from the other end of the problem to get it fully resolved. As soon as he found out that i wasn't going to be able to just solve his problems for him right then and there, he fell apart. Suddenly i was the enemy and how dare i say what i say. The conversation went from a pleasant conversation on philosophy and relationship to anger, yelling, and threatening in a matter of moments. I could not have found a better example of severe bipolar or manic depressive behaviors if i had made it up. Now, that's not to say that this guy was severely bipolar or manic depressive, but that was certainly how he was acting. Either way, it took a while but i was able to, through the yelling and threatening, help him understand step-by-step what he needed to do next to get the problem solved.

The whole situation got me thinking about how we react to our problems. When our difficulties become more than we can handle, what do we do? Do we bear up the burden; strapping it to our backs like another bag on a camel? Do we spread it around to everyone around us like a capsized bowl of soup? Do we shrug it off as one would a well meaning remark from an in-law who has no idea what they're talking about? One of the nice things about God is that we can give it to Him. When our lives seem like they are falling apart, we're not in it alone. He can take those troubles and frustrations and in their place, put a peace that is beyond understanding. He puts a strength that is beyond comprehension, and a hope that goes beyond any circumstance. We certainly can't do it alone. Thankfully, we don't have to.

Image from anticline used under cc license.