When was the last time you were really sorry about something? I mean really, really, wept over it sorry? Chances are, for most people the answer to that is that it's been a long time, if ever.
Going back to our history lesson... The 11 tribes knew that what had happen in Gibea was horribly wrong. So much so that they knew that they were responsible to bring justice in the situation, and to destroy the city that had become so corrupt. They were angry (righteous anger) and came to God to find out who was to lead the battle. In looking at this i honestly believe that this was a question of responsibility. Who is most responsible for allowing this to happen, and who is responsible for dealing the appropriate justice. Judah, the tribe of first inheritance (a.k.a. "the eldest"), was singled out. When they lost that battle, in which they knew that not only were they right, but that God had directed them, they invariably realized that there was something wrong. So they wept before the Lord, and again they sought Him. They were beginning the repentance process. They sought God's answer, not just what they were expecting. They didn't just say, "We're going to do this, so now who goes first?" They asked God, "Is this what we are supposed to be doing?" So God spoke to them again and confirmed that what they were doing was the correct thing. They were on the right path. Then, they lost again! Even with God telling them that this was the right thing to do, they still lost! At this point i believe that they begin to get it. After this, everyone went up to Bethel. Not just the leaders, not just the soldiers, everyone! They knew that there was something wrong, and something needed to be done. So everyone went. They wept before the Lord. They fasted. They offered sacrifices both burnt offerings (for atonement of sin) and peace or fellowship offerings. And, they inquired of the Lord. It was not just about who is responsible, and is this the right thing, but what do You want us to do and how? It was only after that that they were able to be successful.
I believe that this third day is where we begin to see true repentance of heart and not just action. This is our example, and it is supported many other places in the Bible. There are 4 facets to true repentance. First is mourning. Mourning and weeping for the sin we have committed. Simply saying we are sorry and turning around to go in the other direction does not mean much. At that point you and I can always turn back around again and return to our old ways. There is little meaning to it unless we are willing to not only be sorry for what we do, but truly understand how wrong we truly are and how much it hurts and destroys our relationship with each other and God.
Second is fasting. Fasting (another lost art) is all about us realigning ourselves with God. It's about us setting other things aside for a time so we can place our focus back where it needs to be. In essence it's us saying, "God, what i want doesn't matter. My desires take a back step to what You want. I need you more than i need the rest of this stuff." It is us humbling ourselves before God and saying, "Your will, not mine be done."
Thirdly and extremely importantly, is sacrificing. I could study and go into all the different things that the burnt offering, peach offering, and fellowship offering stand for, but let's keep this simple. An offering is all about sacrificing something. It's about giving something up. It is irredeemable. It is something offered... given to God that cannot be taken back. It is us letting go of our rights to something and giving it fully to God. It is no longer ours. It belongs to God, and we have no right to it. Usually it is the destruction of whatever it is we are sacrificing to Him. It must be something of value to us. King David said that he would not sacrifice to God something that cost him nothing.
Finally, now that we have recognized our sin, wept and mourned over what we have done and the effects of it, fasted and realigned ourselves with God and what He has for us, and given up through sacrifice something of value to us and that may be standing between us and God, we can finally seek God's will. Not just where the blame and responsibility lies, and who should go first. Not just whether this is the right thing to be doing. Rather it is a statement of "God, what do You want us to do? What is Your will and direction? What steps do You want us to take?" It becomes all about Him! Then and only then have we learned true repentance.
One of the difficult and amazing things about repentance is that in truth, we cannot do it ourselves. We are too stuck up. We are too stubborn. We are too prideful to be able to be repentant on our own. We may want to, but we can't! Only God can give us the heart, motivation, and drive to do it fully and properly. Thus, our repentance towards God can only come from God.
Lord, HELP ME! Help me to be repentant. Help me to truly have a repentant heart. Help me to be the man of God that You have called me to be. Please forgive me and help me! I don't want to live my life less than You have for me. Please forgive me and help me. In Jesus name we pray. Amen!
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