It Makes All the Difference in the World...

What is the difference between the geek who constantly gets picked on and the cool kid? I wasn't really thinking about this so much on my own, but i had a dream that really started to make this a little more clear.

First off, a little background. I was a geek growing up. I didn't have a ton of friends and the places that i excelled were in my classes. The more i am working with youth the more i see young people that remind me of me at a younger age. Obviously i want to help them to get over the things that are holding them back and be a support to them. It's been difficult because i want to encourage them, but i don't want them to rely on or cling to me. That would be counterproductive. So it has been something that has been sitting in the back of my mind for a little while. I have had the answer sitting on the tip of my mind for a little while, but i have had a little bit of a difficulty piecing it together.

This morning as i was sleeping i had a dream. As with any dream alot was happening but what really stuck out was a point at which i was walking through a store and saw a couple of little kids there. They were maybe 6 or 7 years older. As i was walking by i could hear laughter. The kids were laughing and so was the store clerk. This one skinnier boy was being shoved and hit by another girl who was a little bit bigger than him. She wasn't so sure that she wanted to do this, but the other kids were egging her on and she was getting positive attention as a result so she kept going. Meanwhile, the boy seemed to not quite know what to do. He seemed to hesitate like he wanted to retaliate, but something held him back. Whether he knew he wasn't supposed to hit girls, or he was just too afraid. He hesitated and didn't do anything. I was really annoyed with the store clerk for laughing and encouraging the girl, but i was even more annoyed with the boy for just standing there.

I wanted to take the boy by the shoulders look him in the eye and ask him if what she was doing was actually physically hurting him. Obviously the physical pain wasn't really an issue. So i wanted to tell him to push her right back. He didn't need to hurt her. He just needed to do something to show her that he couldn't just be pushed around. If he did that there wouldn't have been an issue any more. He might get into trouble for shoving a girl, but it would have solved the problem. Instead of doing that, i kept on walking.

I woke up a little further into the dream and thought about what had happened. I realized that the issue wasn't that he didn't want to fight. You shouldn't hit, and especially guys shouldn't hit girls. The issue is that he just stood there and did nothing! I began to realize that that makes all the difference in the world. I look at the geeky kids and teens that i know and i realized that one of the major things that sets them apart from everyone else is that instead of doing something they do nothing. Even if they did something and made a fool of themselves it would have been better than if they had done nothing. Living life hesitating instead of doing makes all the difference in the world. That's the difference between the geek and the cool kid.

Image from Samuel Rönnqvist used under cc license.