Torn Asunder

There are so many things, so many frustrations in life right now (like there ever isn't?). It seems like there are problems and issues that i bring to God telling Him that they are too much to handle. I tell Him that i'm at an impasse and something needs to change. There are directions that i really want to go and doors that i really want to be open that aren't and that may not be anytime soon. In fact they may never be... but then again, they may also be at practically any moment.

Right now i am in a situation that is both at the top and at the bottom of the barrel. The part of my life that is at the top of the barrel is just that, a top experience in life. I couldn't say that it couldn't be better, but at this point it's the top i've been in a long time. At the same time that top experience is being pulled down by the bottom experience. The bottom is creating so much stress & tension that it's dragging the top down. At the same time the bottom is what is holding the top up. It is what is supporting the top. If the bottom weren't there the top would not be possible. Right now the top and bottom are balancing one another out. The top is preventing me from going insane due to the bottom, and the bottom is making the top possible. Together it feels like they are ripping me apart, and in so many ways i just want to throw in the towel.

So what happens if a third situation arises? It is neither of these two. It is not a top experience or a bottom experience. However, if it is accepted and taken both the bottom & the top experiences are lost. It has the potential to become a top experience, but quite obviously at a cost. Where do you go, and what do you do?