Great Expectations

So, how do we develop growth and maturity in young adults? How do we nurture it and encourage it? I don't think that there is an easy answer to these questions. It's like asking a salesman how to sell something to someone. You could ask 100 different salesmen and get 100 different answers. Ultimately the core of the issue is that when a young person is encouraged to act immaturely, chances are, they will. It's like trying to teach a 3-year old how to behave. If you model, encourage, and reward good behavior, chances are you will have children that have good behavior.

When a young adult see another person acting like a mature, responsible adult putting what's best ahead of what they necessarily want, chances are they will learn from that. If a young adult sees themself as the only person that they know acting the right way, they will be more likely to become frustrated and discouraged and more likely to give up on the process. One of the key things to remember is that if a young adult is expected to act like an adult and treated like an adult they will be more willing to be that way. However if they don't know what that looks like, expectations won't mean a thing.

Image from celikins used under cc license.

What does it take?

What does it take for a person, a group of people to grow and mature? When i look at our youth today i can see that many times a young adult can act mature and grow to become a healthy adult in an environment that is less than healthy. In these situations there are a couple of things that build this support, 1) people that stand in the gap, 2) their willingness to be that mature person, and 3) their relationship to God.

It is important when attempting to develop change that there is something or someone standing beside or behind this person. No one can really grow and mature alone. If we don't see or know what it means to grow and be a part of something bigger than ourselves chances are, we may not. And, we can't reach bigger and higher than ourselves without help from other people. Just as we need to be a strength and support to others. A lone tree standing against the wind will not stand for long or very well when the winds get rough. When there is a group of trees standing together, the wind cannot blow them down so easily.

If someone is not willing to be that strong person, that mature person, chances are pretty good that they aren't going to become that person. That's not to say that an unwilling person isn't going to or can't become a strong, healthy, and mature person, but chances are until they see the need to change, they are not going to change. The need and desire for change can come from within or without. Circumstances and situations can lead the change. They can be the spark that lights the fire and gets the blaze going. It can also be the fan that helps and encourages the flame to spread. However, what is really needed is the desire and need to change coming from within. A spark from outside is not going to do much with the fuel that's inside. A group of people can push, pull, and drag a person into position of maturity, but it's not going to mean much if they are an unwilling protagonist.

Lastly, and by far the most important, is our need and search for God. When our plans are, well exactly that, our plans, they only get a part of the picture. When our source is much larger than ourselves, and we tap into that source, our plans are a part of His plans and become more than we can ever imagine. If we are relying on our own imagination and ideas we are limiting our potential. God is the source of all creativity, maturity, and strength. He gives it to us when we have nothing to give. He is the source and the great director. Ultimately it is His masterpiece and we are only the work and progress.

Something to keep in mind. All three of these things are not required. A single person can do a great deal on their own. An unwilling host can become the source of great change. And God does not necessarily need us to recognize Him for Him to work through us. All three of these things together have to potential to produce maturity, growth, and much needed change.

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Feast Without Famine is Gluttony. Famine Without Feast Brings Drudgery.

It amazes me sometimes how much a person grows and matures in difficulties. So often we want things to be easy. We want to have things given to us. We don't want to have the difficulties, and yet... that is the only way that we can grow. With troubles and trials comes growth. With problems and adversity comes the potential for maturity. When everything we want is handed to us, we tend to grow lax and uncaring. It is only when we go through the hard times that we can learn to understand and appreciate the good times.

A speaker in Bible college used this analogy once and i thought it was fitting. When the trials come flooding in. It can be a very difficult time. When you are surrounded by the flood waters of trials and troubles it tends to show what you are really made of. The difficult times come and we seek God. We go through the hardships and look to Him because we can't do it alone. He in turn works in us strengthening us and sweeping away the built up junk. When the flood waters subside and everything returns to normal, that is when the real trials begin. During that time of flood new seed is brought in. New growth occurs, and we have the potential to grow in new and stronger ways. However it is during the good times, the easy times, the seeds that the flood brings in sprout into new life and the potential really begins.

What do we do when we are in the easy times. How do we handle it when the times are good. Who or what do we become with the seeds that were planted in hardship. It takes work to make growth, but it is easy to fall into lax when the going is no longer tough. So what are we, what am i doing with what i have been given?

Image from [beta] used under cc license.