Prayer: Request or Response, Which Comes First?

Which comes first, the prayer request or God's response? I know that at first glance this question seems really silly. After all, we bring the request before God, and He gives us one of 3 responses;Yes, No, and/or Wait. However, a long time ago i came to the conclusion that it may not be that simple.

This idea / question / concept came up near the end of my senior year at Elim Bible Institute, and it has caused a paradigm shift in how i think of prayer and answered prayer ever since.

It started one day when i was in a slump. A low spot if you will. I had heard other students talking about how they had gone over to Brother So-and-so's house last night and had dinner with him and his family again, and what a good time they had had (for those non-Elimites the professors & staff at Elim are referred to as Brother/Sister instead of Professor or Mr./Mrs.). Others chimed in, "Yeah last month we had dinner with them, and a few months ago as well." "Sister _____ had us over for lunch last week and we had a blast! I never knew that she...." As time went by, more and more people talked about the many times they had been invited to spend time with a staff member and their families, and it started to really bug me. I had heard stories in the past about someone's wife who made an amazing cake and how at the senior auction there would be groups of people who would pool their money together to win the bid on the cake to split 6-12 ways. I had no idea what the fuss was all about. Cake can't be that good can it?

Anyways, in my slump i started into the whole "whoa is me". You know what i'm talking about. Everybody does it some time. "How come this person has gotten invited over to Bro. So-and-so's house time after time, and no one has ever invited me over to spend time with them and their family." Ya-da, ya-da, ya-da. I won't go on. It's not a pretty picture, and no one needs to hear more complaining.

Since i was already in a slump i was just feeding into it even more. So eventually, as was becoming a habit, i brought it to God. I made my complaints known to Him, and let Him know how i felt. Within a week Bro. Harry Vellekoop stopped me and invited me to have breakfast at his house on Saturday morning. Needless to say, I was pumped! "Wow God, that was fast!"

So that Saturday morning i, and about six other students, showed up at Brother Harry's house for breakfast. While we were there Bro. Harry apologized for not having us over sooner. He told us that he has always tried to make it a point to get to know each and every student on campus, but that with the numbers up in the 300+ range, it had become significantly more difficult. His response became that he invites every senior over to his house for breakfast sometime in their senior year. So this was his chance to get to know the seven of us better.

Needless to say, this deflated my high a little bit, but we had a really good time overall. Meanwhile, it struck a cord in me. This question began probing my mind. Did this situation occur because i prayed and asked God for it, or did God prod me on to pray and make the request because He was already fulfilling it? Did He answer the prayer that i asked, or did He simply choose the right time to draw out the hidden frustration in my heart because He was getting ready to respond to it. It's funny that it was that week that Bro. Harry chose to invite me to breakfast, when he could have done it any week prior to or after that. If i hadn't said the prayer that week, would Bro. Harry instead have asked me to come to breakfast on a different week?

Since then, there have been numerous other times in my life where it seems like God has orchestrated similar situations to answer prayer requests i have not yet made, and it continues to lead me to question: "When it comes to prayer; which comes first, the request or the response?"

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Focused Time

This past week as part of the prayer week i have been taking some time away from recreational activities at home at the beginning of the day. This includes things like video games and getting online. Instead i have been spending more time in the word, praying, and spending more focused time with family.

I find that whenever i do things like this, it always helps me in my relationship with God and my family. I'm not as distracted by unnecessary crap and tend to be able to focus more on God, family, and resolving my own issues.

In spite of that, so often after these types of fasting times, i always seem to (eventually) go back to my old habits. Then when a time of fasting comes again i dread its coming. It takes a while to really get into it, and i am so resistant to it.

As i have been writing and processing this i have come to two separate conclusions:
1) I see it as a time of fasting. It is something that i see as a limited time thing. I look to the conclusion and don't expect it to be something that lasts. When the time is over and i have an urge to get back into my old habits, there is nothing stopping me. Whereas if my focus instead is, this is what i am going to do, and i will not be returning to my old way of doing things it becomes an issue of a changing a habit / lifestyle instead of a temporary thing. As a result the resolve is to continue.
2) My other thought was that this is a battle of the flesh. I John 2:15-17 says, "Do not love the world nor the things in the world If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever." The battle is a desire of the flesh (having "fun" instead of being responsible) that wars for dominance in my life. I go back to these things because they are fun and a distraction instead of being something that takes effort and doesn't lead to more immediate gratification.

So now the issue is, where do i go from here. The time of prayer & fasting is at a close, but should this change in actions end?

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The Effective Fervent Prayers...

It's funny how God works sometimes. Just the subtle ways that He brings things into perspective. I was getting myself up and going this morning and i have tried to make it a habit of spending time praying for our church leaders each day, especially as we are going through the transition of searching for a new lead pastor.

Prayer has been a real struggle for me lately. It seems like i have gotten into the mentality in which i spend little time really focused on prayer. It's hard to explain, but my prayer has not be up to par even for my own less than best expectations for myself at times. However, this morning a verse came into my head as i was getting ready but i couldn't piece it all together. "The effective fervent prayer of the righteous man availeth much, to the tearing down of strongholds..." and i couldn't remember how the rest of it went. I knew that there was more along the lines of tearing down the strongholds, but i just couldn't get it. So i grasped onto that and held on.

When i came downstairs later where i could do a little research, i found something a little unexpected. I found the references to the verses i was looking for, only it wasn't what i was expecting to see. James 5:16 says,

Confess your faults to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

Then in 2Co 10:3-5 Paul says,

For though walking about in flesh, we do not war according to flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not fleshly, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds, pulling down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought into the obedience of Christ

As you can see, it's not the verse that i was quite expecting. And, since i am a man who does not like it when people take verses out of context in order to build their own point, it hit me kind of hard. They are both true separate as well as together. The effective fervent prayers of the righteous man avail much. They are spiritual warfare and they are mighty to God for the pulling down of strongholds, vain imaginations, every high thing that exalts itself... bringing into captivity every thought...

More than that, and what i won't get into at this time, is what each of these verses is talking about within their own context. They both have everything to do with everything else, and both require some more further study... but that's neither here, nor there for this point.

The point is that The effective fervent prayer of the righteous man does avail much... to the tearing down of strongholds, vain imaginations, every high thing that exalts itself... bringing into captivity every thought. If we are not praying effectively and fervently as i have struggled with not doing, well what then?

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R-E-S-P-E-C-T

The more i look at the world, the more i shake my head wondering what has happened. I started to notice it in high-school. I was walking down the hallway between classes and there was a group kids around fourth grade going down the hallway. Suddenly, it seemed like out of the blue, one of the younger kids starts making fun of one of high-schooler. I mean he just starts reaming on him, swearing at him, insulting him, and going on & on. From as far as i could tell the fourth grader wasn't mad at the other guy. He was just saying what he was because he knew he could get away with it, and getting away with it he was. The high-schooler starts acting like he's going to pummel the fourth grader and the fourth grader tells him that he's not afraid of him and that if he touches him he will sue him. The kid's teacher was nowhere to be seen, and no other staff member was even paying attention, let alone cared. I couldn't believe the gall of this kid. At around that age, no one i knew in school would have even considered doing that.

It amazes me how much times have changed. When i was a kid we called all adults by their titles Mr. & Mrs. There was no first name basis. (Mind you, i am only in my twenties. This wasn't something that occurred 50 years ago) There was respect because as adults they deserved respect. They were our authority figures and we were raised to have respect for authority. Nowadays that means little to nothing. Parents and other adults tend to be on a first name basis with their kids friends. If a child is disrespectful to someone in public people tend to shrug it off and say not to worry about it because they are just kids. I have seen where an adult chastised their child for being disrespectful to someone else and the other person got mad and chastised the parent for getting upset with their child.

It almost seems like any kind of respect besides self-respect is seen an inappropriate and unfounded. Lack of respect or even disrespect is status quo unless that respect has been earned. How about the fact that not only is the person older than you (or me) and has been through more things in life than us, but that they also have to put up with our crap. I'd say that that is more than deserving of respect.

This issue falls into even more of a problem because we (including the pastors and other church leaders) don't seem to have/act out respect for God during prayer. How many times have you seen a pastor or leader praying over or with a congregation and everyone has their heads bowed and is either reverently silent or is praying as well. I'm sure that a number of you who read this will say, "Sure, it happens every week at my church". But, what about the worship team? While someone is praying, they are getting onto and off of the stage. They are getting setup or they are tearing down. Why? So that everything can flow seamlessly? So that we have the best quality show? So that all that the audience(, i mean "congregation") sees is the best? Since when is it more important to put on a good "show" than to have respect for the creator of the universe? Why is the congregations view more important than respect for the one who has taken us from our own desire for selfish darkness into the light? How can we expect our children to be respectful of those in authority when it seems like we don't have the respect we should have for the ultimate authority, God?

(I do apologize for picking on the worship team. This is something that i see throughout the entire church body and not just in this situation. It's just an easy example that crosses congregational and denominational boundaries due to its commonality.)

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Worship & Prayer

There is so much about prayer that i don't understand at times. Then there are other times that pieces begin to fit together that didn't fit before. For instance the connection between prayer and worship. Years ago when i was in high school Scott Laird, the worship leader at my church, made a comment about how they were connected. He mentioned how many times when we worship God we are attracted to the worship by the beat, the rhythm, and the tune. However we speak the words even when we don't pay attention to what those words are saying. Part of Scott's point was that we need to pay attention to the words of what we are singing to make sure that what we are saying is correct and Biblical. The other point that he made is that when we sing something, just because we aren't paying attention doesn't mean that God isn't. He takes it seriously and will act on what we say. There are times when things come up in our lives that we are dumbfounded about. We have no idea what's going on, but when we ask God about it saying that we never wanted this, He reminds us that we most certainly did. When we sang that we were laying it all down, or that we are giving it all to Him, or that we want more of Him, even though we may have seen it more as just a song, He sees it just as it is. A message to Him. A prayer. A promise. When we sing something, there is so much more to it than just a song, and we fail to see that many times.

This past weekend i was thinking about worship and music and the structure of that worship. I was thinking about the structure of the a worship song. The main focus / basis / core / center of the worship is in the chorus. It defines the direction and movement of the whole song. Meanwhile, the verses work off of the chorus to define it more and give it substance and definition. The chorus acts as the trunk of the tree and the verses are the branches. The verses expand / expound as the chorus leads.

As i was thinking about that structure of worship as well as the parallel between worship and prayer, i realized that in the struggles that i have with praying, that structure may be a big benefit. If instead of jumping from one thing to another in my prayer i can have one focus that i start with and then define and expound upon it in "verses". Thereby my attention is less likely to drift into completely off areas. I am more likely to stay on task and focused, and the prayer itself becomes more... (i can't think of the right way to finish this) complete, purposeful, structured, beneficial...

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Something so Simple!

It's a funny thing about prayer. My undergraduate work was in Bible and Youth Ministry. While i was in Bible college i got myself into this habit of getting up an extra hour and a half to two and a half hours early to pray. Most everyone else was still asleep, but i was up in the prayer room studying, praying, and worshiping. Going to bed early and a well needed nap were necessary at the time in order to make it happen, but they were doable. Since then i have not been as faithful. I still get up early to try to spend the time, but it's not nearly as much.

I'm not trying to toot my own horn or to say that i'm this great guy or anything because i'm not. What i do want to do is that when i say what i'm going to say i want it to be clear the impact of this. I have a very difficult time praying. I struggle with it in so many ways it's difficult to imagine it as anything but a struggle. I can't stay awake. When i am awake i have such a hard time staying focused i may as well not be praying. When i am in public in front of people i can pray in ways i could only wish that i could in private. You would think (at least i know i would think) that after 15 years of (usually) daily prayer, praise, and Bible reading and 3 years of Bible college, that someone would be able to at least pray. Yet for me, day in and day out it is the most difficult things that i do in the day.

It's difficult because, if i pray out loud i'm likely to wake up the girls. If i pray quietly i get distracted and lose focus. If i kneel down to pray i fall asleep. If i sit everything else going on in my head distracts me. If i stand up everything around me distracts me. It's like i'm fighting a battle with the wind, and the wind keeps winning. Yet this should not be such a struggle. You would think that something so simple as prayer would be... well simple! So much for that idea.

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